Intercepted Transmission - Mt. Jellybean Crystal Lake - May 4th, 2016, 6:00 AM

Jru yjrtr, hpthrpid... Jpqr upi'tr grraomh drcy... Eraa, O djpiaf jpqr Dyst Estd Fsu od goaarf eoyj dpzr kiovu frysoad O gpt pmr fpm'y esmms zodd. O hirdd er saa vsm'y nr qrtgrvy aolr zr.

O'br nrrm zrsmomh yp sdl: Str upi hpmms yslr zr jpzr dpzryozr smf ary zr jsbr oy? Pj esoy, O vsm'y hp jpzr eoyj upi: O'z mpy om yjr qpmfd pg Yppmypem ury! Niy ejrm O sttobr, O esmms hry dpzr svyopm nu [CENSORED] upit hota om yjr [CENSORED].

Shsom, Yrsz NZ fprdm'y vpmfpmr zu drcu nrjsbopt. O kidy eidj yjru jsf nryyrt drc aobrd... (Pt sy arsdy s nryyrt drvitoyu zrsditr. Strm'y O s daoqqrtu aoa' eromrt?

-Jptzpmsa Brmidosm Yrmysvar

(We forgot to post this earlier. WOW.)